Have some class with your alcohol

Gather ye children of Bacchus, quoth I wisdom from the sacred text of the fumy spirit....



A shot without a toast is like sex without foreplay.

And by a toast I don’t mean “Cheers” or “Here’s to you” — offering those is akin to christening a battleship with a Dixie cup. No, you want something melodic, meaningful and memorable, something capable of inspiring the troops before they happily careen into battle.

Our enemies never drink
Our friends always do
So let’s drink this drink
And tell between the two.

- Tis good to know who your friends are

Here’s to the man who takes the pledge
Who keeps his word and does not hedge
Who won’t give up and won’t give in
Till the last man’s out and there’s no more gin.

- Truly inspirational, now go have another drink

Better a well known drunkard
Than an anonymous alcoholic.

- Might as well go out in style

Work like you don’t need the money
Love like you’ve never been hurt
Dance like no-one is watching
Screw like it’s being filmed
And drink like a true Irishman.

- The last couple of lines say it all

Let us have wine and women
Mirth and laughter
Sermons and soda-water
The day after.

- Spoken like a good Catholic boy

Steady your glasses
Here comes the gale
Batten down the hatches
And lean well over the rail.

- In tribute to my buddy overseas

Here’s to whiskey, scotch and rye
Amber, smooth, and clear
Not as sweet as a woman’s lips
But a damn sight more sincere.

- Zipping the lip on this one

Here’s to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold drink—and another one.

- Cheers to that

No matter how beautiful
Smart and full of class
To somebody, somewhere
She’s a major pain in the ass.

- For some reason this makes me laugh a lot

Here’s to those who wish us well
As for the rest, they can go to Hell.

- A gentleman's toast obviously

While we live
Let’s live.

- After 15 shots, this toast still can make sense

Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy
But enough about me, here’s to you.

- Now theres a toast your friends can drink to

Drink today and drown all sorrow
You shall perhaps not do it tomorrow
Best while you have it, use your breath
There is no drinking after death.

- A true poet's toast